Recently I had someone ask me, “Why even bother allowing myself to feel all this grief?” In the moment, it might have been more of a rhetorical question, but it was valid nonetheless. Honestly, it’s a fair question to ask. Why do we bother feeling grief or other emotions that feel terrible and debilitating? What’s the point? Wouldn’t it be better to set yourself to auto pilot and cruise control your way until the end of your own days? Is there a way to avoid it all?

It’s complicated when a parent doesn’t provide a secure attachment. If you’re just starting out with giving your origins of shame more thought, or trying to fill in the gaps between things you already know, I hope this helps shine some insight into this really complex topic.

Self blame, shame, guilt, and negative self talk are such heavy burdens to carry. Do you ever wonder where it all originates? Often these thought patterns and behaviors are on a continuous loop that becomes so normalized across various situations, that many people don’t even stop to question their legitimacy. In this blog, let’s get curious.

“But I think a lot of you are out there, like me. Those who feel they could never compare their grief to their partner’s loss of a parent, but who still have their own grief to tend to, while also trying to be the best support.”

A poem about being busy slowing down and unlearning every toxic thing you were ever taught.

A poem about letting go of toxic people whom you once loved.

“There is a tremendous amount of grief that lives inside these bones. There is no separating life “before” or “after” someone died. It has always been.”

“Some days I wish there was some place I could send grief
Like on a rocket ship sent up to space
With a note written inside
‘Please do not return’”

There will always be those moments in grief that will stick with us to the end of our time, for better and for worse. Here’s to grieving unapologetically, to showing up authentically, and allowing life to feel bigger than death.

Welcome to the club that nobody wants to be a part of. There are A LOT of different feelings that come up after a death loss. Here are some common things that come up for my grievers.

A poem about holding all the dualities within grief. You can be all.

So many clients that I see initially present looking for grief therapy. The death of a loved one just feels too overwhelming and it’s spilling into all areas of life. How could it not? The grief is at the source of all that feels misaligned. But is that the only thing? It’s pretty common once we start diving into more sessions, that what’s going on is often more than just loss.

It can feel like a lot of pressure to write a eulogy, especially if writing or speaking in front of others is not in your wheelhouse. If you’re looking for guidance or ideas, Consider These 5 Things on How to Write a Eulogy.